


nap time

by nuntears



Category: Boyfriend to Death (Visual Novels)
Genre: Drabble, Dubious Morality, Ficlet, General Trauma, Internal Conflict, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-25
Updated: 2017-03-25
Packaged: 2018-10-10 10:40:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10435866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nuntears/pseuds/nuntears
Summary: ren is watching strade sleep and he's kinda in inner turmoil





	

**Author's Note:**

> i actually wrote this before btd2 and [ posted it to tumblr ](http://nuntears.tumblr.com/post/155041763466/). i reread it after finished ren's route thinking i had to disclaimer it saying i wrote it before the second game but it still makes sense so!

he is sleeping and it is the biggest contradiction you’ve ever seen in your life.

a man – who is always so conscious, so aware of his surroundings and how he’s presenting himself – leaving himself weak and vulnerable. a man – who is strong, who breaks everything he touches and corrodes it slowly or smashes it like splintering bone – with his hands lax. a man who moves with purpose, a man who destroys, a man who plays god. 

at your mercy. 

you lean close to him. and rest your fingers on his neck. it would be easy. it would be justice. it wouldn’t right all the wrongs he’s done, but it’d be the damn near closest thing.

yet you do nothing. and you don’t want to think of why. 

instead you continue. you ghost your fingers over his throat, grazing his adam’s apple with the nubs of your finger nails. touching his jawline, measuring the stubble there in your mind’s eye. 

it’s intimate. almost romantic.

and the self loathing begins to set in. you could end this. even if it means you’d die here. even if it means you’d die. you have had every opportunity. yet you do nothing. 

how weak. pathetic. 

he’s stirring in his sleep now. and you try to crawl away. but he grasps you and pulls your frail body towards his. loosely. so unlike how he is with you when he’s conscious. you could easily scoot away from him. but you don’t move. and you don’t want to think of why.

your back is against his chest. you feel him engulfing you with his strong figure. he smells musky and it makes you some kind of heady. he smells like pain. you don’t like what that means. 

you feel his muscles in the large arm draped over you, they tense then untense. it serves as a reminder. even if he is here in his most natural unnatural state, you are still weak. you still need him.

you owe him everything and nothing.

you doze off in his arms.


End file.
